Haikus

AI is coming

Tell me the future, AI

"I will take your jobs"

Dearest colleague
Skip the philosophical.
What’s best for users?

Dear marketing guy,
Scroll depth is great and whatnot,
Conversion is best

Design is thoughtful
I will distill my ideas
Down to one sentence

The company was
Lost because the users were
Frustrated greatly.

This idea is ours.
We work hard to realize it.
No credit at all.

The test is working.
And now comes the influx of
Customer complaints.

Won’t do a take home.
I should be paid for this work.
For a sci-fi app?

I used to work at
A famous tech company.
Now, I do freelance.

Incoherent facts.
I try to read the tea leaves.
Our product is doomed.

We’re all geniuses.
Decisions made in vacuums,
The path is faultless.

Eager designer
Take time to think about it
Before diving in

Take the internet
Add some magic and some luck
Whatcha get? Blockchain.

Design is about
Making things that haven’t been
So just keep making

Categorizing—
Oh, designer of this site—
Is what you should do.

Just please, Adobe,
Make the rounded corners scale
With the shape I made.

The complex design
That the team can’t figure out —
Shoulda prototyped.

To be successful
Stop being a narcissist
And do the damn work

Take pride in your work.
Do not take pride in yourself —
You’ll become an ass.

We crave the complex
To solve hard problems with smarts
Screw simplicity

Should designers code?
Is a dead horse still a horse?
Shut up and do work

My dearest friend, Flash
Your death sentence was issued
Nice knowing you, (fl)as^s(h).

Should you try to do
That thing you’ve always wanted?
You have to decide.

Normal is not real
The Eighty/Twenty bell curve
Affects all design

The answer is there
So blatantly obvious.
No, it can’t be right.

Bolder is better
Some designers like to say
Others say it’s not.

Slight, intentional
Upgrades to the project you
Are working hard on

Six, Eight, Twelve, Sixteen
All versions of a system
To layout designs

Lead a designer
To javascript and they will
Refuse to use it

Teach a designer
To write javascript and they
Will be successful

This journey called life
Is but an experiment.
Take chances, fear not.

Such a simple tool
Yet elegantly creates
Beautiful artwork

Almighty duo
The pursuit of our lifespans
Takes all and gives none

This demon so dark
Twisted and cruel, follows me
And tells me I’ll fail

How did I get here?
Am I really good enough
To have this status?

A rushing river
Full of amazing ideas
Ebbs, wanders and flows

The best solution
Elusive and bodiless
Oh where could it be

Tell me, designer,
Why do you decide to use
Glowing drop shadows

Adobe, why does
Illustrator have only
Ninety-nine art boards?

Oh great Adobe,
Why must vector rendering
Use all GPU?

Should designers code?
If a tree falls in the woods,
Why in the hell not.